It all started with some exciting news though. In November of last year, I got engaged. The wedding was due to take place on Christmas Day 2012, so I had very little time to do anything other than go to work and come home to plan and prepare for the big day. Time passed too quickly, and before I knew it, it was half-way through December and I’d left ordering my bridal bouquet till the last minute. Only to be told by the company that they don’t deliver over the festive period!
I thought it was the end of the world, that the wedding was going to be a disaster – when you’re a stressed out bride-to-be, a professional in the financial services industry who is also trying to make it as an independent author, thoughts like these enter your head. I should have waited a little longer before I let my catastrophic thoughts get the better of me though, because heartbreak would engulf me by the end of the day.
About an hour after I spoke to the bridal bouquet company, I received a call which changed my life forever. My mum had been taken into emergency brain surgery. My world turned upside down. She’d fallen down the stairs and hit her head. Blood clotted in her brain, squashing it. The surgeons were able to remove the clot but warned us that she may never recover from the injuries incurred, or worse, never wake up. It felt like my life was over. My writing, my upcoming wedding, none of it seemed to matter now. I might lose my mum, the most important person in my life, I didn’t care whether I wrote another word or got married on Christmas Day, or any other day.
The two weeks that followed were hell. Mum was still unconscious. Machines were breathing for her. No one knew what was around the corner. I was falling apart, and also into depression. I wanted to cancel the wedding. My family urged me to reconsider. Everything had been arranged and paid for, not just by me, but by my fiancé’s family too, so it would be unfair to make them suffer such losses. I understood all this, but I didn’t have the strength to carry on. I didn’t have the strength to do anything. Could I go through with the ceremony while my mum was in hospital, fighting for her life?
Continues in Part II here.
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