I planned to release a further three books in 2017, taking my tally to 10 books in market. One of the planned releases was If I Say Yes (Love & Alternatives #1), which I did manage to get out there, but the other two (the first two books in a new urban fantasy series) remain unpublished.
So, what went wrong? Was there another family tragedy, like the one in 2012, which led to me putting the brakes on my writing and publishing journey again? Did I need another major operation, like the brain surgery in early 2016? Thankfully, the answer to those questions is no. There was no crisis, no medical setback. It was in fact some good news. Good, but unexpected. A pleasant surprise.
I found out in April 2017 that I was going to become a mother for the first time!
The pregnancy wasn’t unplanned. Actually, my husband and I had decided to start trying as soon as my neurosurgeon told me I wouldn't need any more MRI scans. We just didn't expect to get pregnant as soon as we started trying. We knew how hard it can be for a lot of couples, and doctors had told me that the average time for me to get pregnant could be between 12 and 18 months. As a result, I plotted out several books to write in the coming 18 months or so.
Why should pregnancy lead to completing fewer books? you ask. Well, it wouldn’t for many writers, I suppose, and it didn't prevent me from finishing and releasing my latest contemporary romance novel If I Say Yes, but it did slow down the writing of my other WIPs. This is because I suffer from chronic and severe lower back pain, which increases tenfold when I sit or stand for 30 minutes or so. And if I can’t sit at my laptop....
I wrote the majority of If I Say Yes lying down in bed, on my stomach, which didn’t have an adverse effect on my back, and I hoped to write my other books in the same way. But when you have a little person developing inside your growing bump, you can’t, and shouldn’t, lie on your stomach. As a first time mum, I was incredibly anxious about the pregnancy, anyway.
What I ended up doing throughout the course of the pregnancy was spending an hour or two each week at my desk to write what I could, though some weeks, I didn’t write at all, as the pregnancy was adding to the back pain and I didn’t feel comfortable sitting down at all. Plus, with all the hormones and other pregnancy symptoms, I wasn’t always in the mood to write.
Things could have been a lot worse, though. I know because things have been worse for me and my family in recent years, and I’ve heard horror stories about some women and their pregnancies, so I feel very lucky that I was healthy enough and so was the baby. I didn’t expect to be as active and healthy (aside from the back pain, that is) during pregnancy because I’m one of those people that ends up bedridden due to the cold and flu—it really takes its toll on me. So that was a nice surprise.
I found out in April 2017 that I was going to become a mother for the first time!
The pregnancy wasn’t unplanned. Actually, my husband and I had decided to start trying as soon as my neurosurgeon told me I wouldn't need any more MRI scans. We just didn't expect to get pregnant as soon as we started trying. We knew how hard it can be for a lot of couples, and doctors had told me that the average time for me to get pregnant could be between 12 and 18 months. As a result, I plotted out several books to write in the coming 18 months or so.
Why should pregnancy lead to completing fewer books? you ask. Well, it wouldn’t for many writers, I suppose, and it didn't prevent me from finishing and releasing my latest contemporary romance novel If I Say Yes, but it did slow down the writing of my other WIPs. This is because I suffer from chronic and severe lower back pain, which increases tenfold when I sit or stand for 30 minutes or so. And if I can’t sit at my laptop....
I wrote the majority of If I Say Yes lying down in bed, on my stomach, which didn’t have an adverse effect on my back, and I hoped to write my other books in the same way. But when you have a little person developing inside your growing bump, you can’t, and shouldn’t, lie on your stomach. As a first time mum, I was incredibly anxious about the pregnancy, anyway.
What I ended up doing throughout the course of the pregnancy was spending an hour or two each week at my desk to write what I could, though some weeks, I didn’t write at all, as the pregnancy was adding to the back pain and I didn’t feel comfortable sitting down at all. Plus, with all the hormones and other pregnancy symptoms, I wasn’t always in the mood to write.
Things could have been a lot worse, though. I know because things have been worse for me and my family in recent years, and I’ve heard horror stories about some women and their pregnancies, so I feel very lucky that I was healthy enough and so was the baby. I didn’t expect to be as active and healthy (aside from the back pain, that is) during pregnancy because I’m one of those people that ends up bedridden due to the cold and flu—it really takes its toll on me. So that was a nice surprise.
Another thing that took me by surprise was how maternal I felt towards the end of my pregnancy. Anyone that knows me, will tell you that I love kids. Love playing with them, working with them, and being a fun aunt or cousin to them. But I was never one of those people that always wanted children. There was a long period of time when I didn’t want to have kids at all. Ever. I didn’t get all gooey-eyed when I saw a newborn or toddler. And early on in my pregnancy, I didn’t feel all that maternal. Didn’t feel like a mum-to-be.
Yes, I felt responsible for the baby and was anxious to make sure it was healthy. I did everything the midwife and doctors advised me to do. But I didn’t feel connected to the baby. Not even when I had my first scan and saw the baby jumping around in my womb (yes, jumping!). It felt real, then, of course, and I shed a few tears of relief to see it moving around happily in my uterus—until then, I had no idea how the baby was doing since I couldn't feel it yet—but I didn’t feel an emotional attachment to it.
Not until I started feeling the baby kick and punch me. That’s when I felt a bond forming between us. Because the baby mainly moved when I sat down or lay down, it felt like it was communicating with me. Like it was saying, ‘Get up, mummy, it’s boring when you’re not moving.” And I’d say, “Sorry, baby, but I need a little rest” or “I have to sit down to eat lunch.” LOL
And so I wonder whether the bonding between mother and child sort of starts before the birth, when the baby makes itself felt and known.
As my due date approached, I found myself loving my unborn child as though I’d already met him. I didn’t anticipate that at all.
Therefore, 2017 really was a year of surprises, and I’m sure 2018 will bring plenty more.
Now, I just want to take the opportunity to thank you all for reading my blog in 2017, for sharing and retweeting and commenting. Thanks for all your support and have a great 2018.
Thank you for reading this post.
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